Nomaste, Sweetie

Kids can be freaking adorable, but sometimes, especially if they’re yours… they can be little terrors.

The store I worked out happened to be located in a she-she kind of mall. The place where parents are used to having their kids looked after for them. I’ve seen all sorts of people come into the mall. This woman came in with her husband little girl. The little girl was like your picture perfect child with blonde hair with pretty natural ringlets, and big blue eyes. The father went to browse around the store for a little bit and left his wife to talk to me about a potential exchange.

I was looking up some stuff for the woman, because she didn’t have a receipt, so I must’ve been helping her for 5-10 minutes or so. Like 30 seconds into our conversation, the little girl comes running over to her from her dad “Mommy, mommy, mommy, MOMMY, MOOOMMMMMMMY.” The mom smiles at her kid and is like, “One second sweetie.”

So the kid sits there waiting for her mom to carry on and then starts again, “MOMMY, mommy, mommy MOOOMMMMMMMMMMY!” the whole time she is tugging at her mom’s shirt and jumping up and down. So her mom turns to her again and says “Mommy is trying to talk to this lady, so can you go see daddy?”

The little girl then skips off to find daddy. I can only assume that the father told the girl to go see mommy because another 30 seconds pass before the little girl is back again. However, on her way back to her mom, she has discovered the Hello Kitty PEZ dispensers that we sell. She picks one up and starts waving it at her mom, “MOOOOMMMMMY! LOOK! Look, look look look MOOMMMY! It’s amazing! Can I have it? Please mommy can I have it? I love it! PUHHHHHLEASE?!” the mom turns to her kid again and says calmly “Go ask daddy.”

At this point in time, I am not entirely sure how this woman is keeping calm. I’m pretty sure I would’ve hauled my child out of there (if I had any children to haul outta anywhere), but anyways. I’m almost done talking to the mother, when sure enough, she is back, “MOOOOOOMMMMY! Mommyy, mommy, mommy!” and finally the mom turns to the little girl and gently holds her shoulders and looks her in the eye and says, “Can we just take a deep breath and say nomaste, sweetie?” she then folds her hands together and bows a little bit at her kid, who takes a deep breath before running back to her father again.

The mom looks at me, smiles and says “Kids!” and laughs a little.

Fergie and Those Black Guys

This one is nice and short. I was changing up the music in the listening stations at work. When we’re doing that, we can’t leave them unattended, or else CDs can get stolen. Anyways, so I asked one of my co-workers to come and help me out a little bit. We’re chatting about this and that and working away. This man walks up to us and says to us, “Where is that Fergie and those black guys CD?”

If you’re out of the loop as to who is referring to, he was looking for the Black Eyed Peas. Apparently Fergie makes the Black Eyed Peas, to the point that the rest of them don’t really need to be there… It’s kinda true, but to be fair, the Black Eyed Peas actually had a CD or two out before Fergie joined the band and were a highly respected rap and hip-hop group. Now they’re just a crazy pop/funk band that does terrible Superbowl performances. Anyways, apparently if you’re looking for the Black Eyed Peas in future, just ask the employee where they keep Fergie and Those Black Guys.

50 Birthdays

All right, so sometimes the customer just always has to be right and you can’t say anything to change that.

This woman came into the store and walked right up to me. You get some nice ones that just want help who just walk straight up to the cash, but generally, it’s impatient people who are cranky and want to find what they want NOW. So this woman walks up and looks at me and says “Where can I find 50 Birthdays?”

Now, I have not a clue what freaking movie this woman is looking for. But she is pretty sure that this is what the movie is called and that’s that. After talking to her more, she tells me it’s that movie with Drew Barrymore in it and it clicks that she’s looking for 50 First Dates. So I tell her as much and she insists that I have the title wrong… Which I most certainly do not.

Anyways, so I tell her that we should have a few copies in the store, but they would be in our clearance bins. I need to take this brief moment to explain that on this particular day, everyone had called in sick. Seriously. The only other person to show up was the receiver and she had her own crap to do. When there is no one else in the store, typically you’re not allowed to leave the cash area. It’s a loss prevention thing.

This woman INSISTED that I search the clearance bins for her and find it. I quickly went through the bins and was unable to find it. I know what the cover looks like as well as the spine of the DVD, so it would be easy to spot if it was there. It wasn’t.

This woman then starts to tell me that I didn’t help her, this and that. I try to tell her that I can’t look because there are people at the cash and I’m the only person in the store. She gets all huffy and proceeds to tear through the clearance bins. She doesn’t find the film and makes sure to know that she is leaving without buying anything after she’s through.

Yeehaw!

Have you ever looked at someone and thought: "Hey! They look like a mouse!".
I know I have. I also know that once I see a person in their animal form, I usually never forget them.

I live in a semi-large town, but it's not uncommon to run into or see people you know on a random regular basis.

This one character always makes me think of a rhino. He is overweight and has strong facial features (and not in that hot movie star way). Due to the fact that he always wears cowboy boots and hat, he is imprisoned in my brain as "Cowboy Rhino". Creative, I know.

C.R (Cowboy Rhino) would usually just walk into the store and see what was on special- from across the room I could hear the beat from his headphones. Our specials are clearly marked, but he would ask if something else was on instead. Not what he was looking for, out to another watering hole he would go.

My first real interaction with him would have been last year.
He comes in and wants cigarettes. I serve him, smile on my face.
Sometimes fake customer service can go too far.
He begins by telling me that his feet hurt from walking all over town.
I got the whole guys life story without having to ask anything or even say a word. He hung around telling me about his move here, how the guy's that he treated as brothers treated him, about his drug addiction and so forth. Thankfully he was decent enough not to go into his sex life. Even with my paper shuffling he hung around for thirty minutes.

....as I said, that was the first time I had a conversation with C.R. There are a few more stories from this cashier!

Jimi Hendrix Should Be CHEAP!

On a almost daily basis, people come into the store and try to tell us that our shite is not alphabetized. They believe this because they can't find whatever they're looking for under THE or the artists first name etc. So when someone rants about the way our store is put together, it's not really something that we get all huffy about. Sometimes though, these people are memorable. This is one of those times.

This man came into the store. Just an ordinary person shopping. None of us working really paid any mind to him because he was just browsing and keeping to himself. He had been in the store for a little while, when he came over to me with a Jimi Hendrix CD in hand.

Him: Your music isn't alphabetized! How are you running this place?!

Me: The music IS alphabetized, but it's either by the bands name or the artists LAST name.

Him: Well Jimi Hendrix isn't where it's supposed to be!

Me: Where were you looking?

Him: J!

Me: Well, that's because he would be under H for Hendrix.

Him: It's not alphabetized then!

Me: Ok, anyways, can I help you find a specific CD?

Him: NO! I already looked at them and all of the ones I want aren't on sale! That's ridiculous! You have all these 2 for 20 deals and sales and you can't make Jimi Hendrix a part of that?!

Me: He IS a part of it... but only certain CDs.

Him: But not the ones I want! Figures!

So basically, the man went on to complain about how poor our customer service was because the CD he wanted wasn't the price he wanted to pay.

Where is Atavar?

Alright, so typing the name of what this lady was looking for makes it a little obvious where this story is going. But nonetheless, at the time, it was frustrating as heck to try and figure it out. This woman that I was helping was a really nice, so I'm just going to add that in there, since not all crazy customers are horrible to help.

It was Christmas time and it was crazy busy in the store. There are approximately 3 to 4 employees available to help like 30-40 people that in the store at a time. So it is an absolute clusterf*ck. It really helps if you know what you're looking for, so that we can help quickly.

So this woman was in the store and she came up to me and said "Where is that movie? You know at-a-vat-ir?" I was all like whooo-what now? Anyways, she just kept repeating herself over and over again. She hadn't seen the movie, so she didn't know anything about it to help give me a description. I was with her for a little while just trying to figure it out. I thought maybe she was talking about Atanajuat (The Fast Runner). I went over to the movie section and went to show her what I thought she meant.

I started looking through the A's and my eyes skimmed past Avatar and my mind clicked. "Are you looking for AVATAR?" I asked her.

Her eyes lit up "YEEEEEEEES! Gawd yes! That is exactly it! And here I've been going on and on about something that doesn't even exist! You poor girl! Thank you so much! You're a genius!"

People really do say stuff like that. When you help someone who is desperately looking for something at Christmas, they will tell you all kinds of sweet nothings to make you feel special. Which is nice considering all the other people who will just as quickly put you down.

World War II THE Movie

Yesterday, I posted a story about a gentlemen looking for Civil War the Musical. Now, that very same day that I spoke to that charming gentlemen, about 3-4 hours later, ANOTHER man came in. I would try to explain the conversation but it will just be better if I dialogue it for you.

Me: How are you today?

Him: Good, I'm looking for a war movie.

Me: Oh! Ok, documentaries or actual movies?

Him: THE war movies.

Me: Well we don't have a war section in our store, so if you know what you're looking for, I can tell you if we have it and where it would be.

Him: I'm looking for World War II movies.

Me: Ok, but I can't really look up keywords. I need a title to look it up.

Him: I told you the title. World War II THE movie. You know? It happened in like 1945 or something like that?

Me: Well ya, that's around when the war took place, but there would only be documentaries from then, no movies were made about the war while the war was going on.

Him: Oh. Uh. Well I am looking for World War II the movie. It exists. I KNOW it does.

Me: Sorry sir, nothing in our system.

I probably should've just shown him something like Band of Brothers, but oh well. Some people just don't know what they're looking for. I pride myself on having a pretty good encyclopedia of films, but some people just don't understand that some things just don't exist however badly they want it to. Oooooh retail.