Cowboys & Aliens

Submitted anonymously...

Retail, for me, is God's personal version of Punk'd - some times, it's boring, sometimes you get in on the act, and other times you cannot believe if this is actually happening to you. The other day, I had a customer come up to me asking me where our John Wayne Cowboy DVD is. No section, not Westerns, just a "John Wayne 'Cowboy' DVD". Well, after multiple (only one) searches (barely a search) I stopped egging her on and told her that he doesn't have a movie strictly called "Cowboy" as all of his westerns are pretty much different variations of "Cowboy". She didn't believe me, of course. Now, maybe, on some Hollywood editing room floor there is a version of "John Wayne's Cowboys" that she knows exists, but I could not find it for the life of me. So she said, "Are you spelling it correctly" in her ear-soothing accent. I responded with "I'm pretty sure". She then got out her invisible pen (her finger) and went on spelling out Cowboys for me on the front cash top. "C, O, W, B..." and she continued without any hesitation, as if, studying english for, what, almost all of my life now, the teachers got together and decided "No, he won't need the word cowboy in his lifetime! We shouldn't bother! More wine Principal Pete!? *evil laughing begins*". I had to back away and cover myself with whatever was in my hand, so she wouldn't notice my laughing. She was a great speller albeit, but it's moments like this one where no one's voice is raised, no one has a temper, just a fake, pen finger and the simple spelling a fake John Wayne movie that makes it all that more bearable.