I Really Like Your Sideburns

If you read my other story regarding Twilight, you will know that the franchise brings out the crazy in a lot of teenage girls. One day, I was working with one of my guy co-workers. He was on cash and I was working on something on a computer at the back of the cash station. We had a bunch of Twilight merchandise at the counter, including stickers, keychains and buttons.

This girl came up to the cash with a couple of her friends and proceeded to lean inapproaitely on the counter staring at my co-worker. She picked up one of the Twilight stickers and turned to him and said, "Can I have this". He laughed a little bit and said no and thought she would leave.

She didn't.

She kept holding the sticker and then said, "I really like your sideburns. They're great. Really sexy. Can I have the sticker now?"

He laughed again and looked at me before turning to her and saying no again. This girl who super persistent, so she turned to him again and said "Your teeth too, you've got great teeth,"

Looking puzzled, he asked her "Really? I have great teeth? I have SMOKER'S teeth... there's not really anything great about them..."

She replied to him again, "Well I think you have a great teeth, but I still really like your sideburns. There's a guy at your other location who has great sideburns too. He gave me a sticker for free when I told him how great his sideburns were,"

"Well you can't have a sticker for free here," he said and the girl finally left.

I later talked to the guy who she spoke of at our other location who remembered this crazy girl and told me what had really happened and told me that he had given her a sticker that they were going to throw out because it was ripped or something.

Do You Like Bleach?

Back to my stories about resumes/interviews and adding in new hires. As well as interviewing and hiring, I was often asked to train new employees on how the store runs and how to use cash and our system to look product up.

One day, I had been asked to train this new kid and I was happy enough to help out. So when they sent the kid up to me, I started my spiel on how to do everything. After I explained a few things, I asked him if he had any questions, which prompted him to tell me that his jaw hurt and that sometimes it clicked when he opened his mouth and proceeded to demonstrate for me. Seriously.

Ignoring him, I moved on and explained to him about something else and after, I again asked him if he had any questions. He turned to me and asked if I had ever watched any anime before. The conversation went a little like this:

Him: "Do you watch anime?"

Me: "I have in the past, but I don't really watch much of it anymore unless it looks super awesome."

Him: "Oh cool. Have you ever seen Bleach?"

Me: "Nah, I haven't. I've heard about it but I don't really know anything about it."

Him: "Oh, I see. SO, whose your favourite character?!"

Me: "Umm... no one... I haven't seen Bleach before."

Him: "Ahhh I love so and so (I can't actually remember the names of the characters he mentioned...), he's SO awesome..."

Me: "That's great..."

Him: "And don't you LOVE the new villain and his awesome costume?!"

Me: "Still don't know what you're talking about..."

This conversation carried on for pretty much the ENTIRE rest of the time I trained him. And every time he mentioned it, I kept telling him that I had no idea what he was talking about.

Colin Mochrie

One of the very first days at my job at a downtown entertainment retailer, I was still a little hesitant on cash and didn't know how to do transactions perfectly. I had been left on my own on a busy Saturday and was trying my best to make sure I didn't fudge anything up.

I was already frazzled because first thing in the morning, my till had decided to completely break down and I had to call technical support to get them to fix it for me. So by the time my cash was up and running again, I was already having a pretty crazy day. I call over the next person in line and of course it has to be a celebrity. Albeit a not HUGE celebrity, but still. Colin Mochrie, probably best known for Whose Line Is It Anyways, with Drew Carey.

He had a big stack of movies and CDs and as I started to ring through his items, my till, again, decided to go a smidgen wonky by scanning items more than once and then not letting me delete them, and stuff like that. My face was super red and I could see that he was getting sort of irritated. He didn't say anything, but I just kept apologizing and trying to rush through the transaction.

Anyways, I finally got him rung through to not have any bags large enough to fit all of his stuff in, so I had to get a bunch of bags together and bag his stuff, leading to bags breaking and everything that could possibly go wrong. He was really nice about the whole thing and didn't say anything rude, but I was so upset at myself for being such a klutz and a spazz.

I Just Need A New Job, Ya Know?

As promised, I've come back to the whole resume/interview subject. At an old job of mine, I was responsible for interviewing and hiring potential employees, which can be fun, but can also be a massive pain in the butt and you can meet a lot of colourful people in the process.

I had set up a bunch of interviews for the day and everyone had been really good and I was worrying about how I was going to choose just one or two of them. My next interviewee came in and I sat down with him and my co-worker so he could help me decide who we should hire. I always started my questions off with something to sort of lighten the mood, like "Tell me a bit about yourself", which is exactly what I asked the guy who was sitting in front of me.

It started out harmless enough, with him talking about school, and such. It then led into a rant about his current job that went something like, "I f**king hate my f**king job, all I f**king do is wash f**king dishes and get paid like sh*t. All I want is a new f**king job where I don't have to wash f**king dishes for like no f**cking money, ya know?"

I asked him a few more questions after that, but after the first question, I could tell right off the bat, he was a prize that we did not hire...

We're MARRIED!

Lately, I've been thinking about some of the nutty people that the Twilight franchise has brought out of the works. I mentioned last week that I was going to discuss resumes and interviewees and such, and I will get back to that, but today I have a great story about a girl who came into the store when the first Twilight movie came to DVD.

I was working on cash with a couple other people who were working that day. Everything was pretty normal and dull until a maybe 13-14 year old girl came in with her mom and wanted to buy pretty much everything Edward related we had in the store, which was a lot considering we had the movie, keychains, wallets, posters, plaques, stickers, t-shirts, and Edward figures (and much MUCH more). So the girl picked out a few things that her mom said that she could get and headed over to the cash register.

I didn't have the pleasure of cashing these ladies out, but I was beside the person who was, so I had a nice chance to observe. Basically the mother was just being pleasantly chatty about things, such as Twilight and her daughter's obsession with it. The girl was sort of out of it and just sort of looked around.

The mother then brought up how her daughter was pretty well in her own little world and thought that Edward and her were in love, which then peaked the girls attention, who then turned around to snap "We ARE in love, MOM! Why don't you get it that we will always be together? Just ACCEPT it! We're MARRIED and in LOVE!", at this time, the girl proceeded to flash an amber ring she had on her ring finger.

"It's his amber ring MOTHER, the colour of his EYES!"

It was crazy town, but the mother didn't really seem very affected by it, so I'm assuming this is probably not the first outburst her daughter had had regarding the subject of Edward. The mother just rolled her eyes and finished politely dealing with my co-worker and walked out with her daughter.

Cashier Please!

With the Christmas season just around the corner for retailers, I thought I would share a few resumes and interview related stories over the next couple of days. Now the stories concerning resumes... If you're out there looking for a job right now, heed my warning through the stories. Many of these are definitely on the NOT TO DO list for getting a job.

At the store I work at, we get TONS of resumes everyday. Seriously, like 20+ daily. We get some amazing people coming in, but mostly we get a lot of duds. Kids coming in with their friends or parents and looking for a job and using their friends as encouragement... Do NOT come in with your friends or (and especially) parents. Anyways, that is straying a bit from the point.

I have several stories like this, but again, at the store I work at, we get tons of resumes. I work in an entertainment store, so everything is divided up by product, like video games, music (genres and such), movies, digital and such. So when someone hands in their resume, we ask them what do they know the most about in our store.

One girl was REALLY confused by this question, so I explained to her how our store is broken down as far as product we carry. So after I asked her to narrow it down to the mentioned product (video games, music, movies etc.), she turned to me and said "I would like to be a cashier please".

Hmmm... Well I just wrote that down and needless to say, she didn't get the job, but ya.

They Are My Partners...

This story made me chuckle... sent in by Kat!

On this day I came out of the back room to find one of my co-workers engaged in a conversation with a customer (wearing a helmet indoors) for a good 20 minutes, against his will. I, obviously, avoided this particular customer.

HOWEVER my co worker, darling that he is, beckoned me over to his post at the cash desk.

He said, "KAT. haha. Kat...ask him why he's buying the stool!"

Immediately I said "No. Why? If I do, will he just talk to me forever?"

"Yeah! Yeah...Just ask him! It's...It's for his robots." *snicker*

Five minutes later:

My anonymous co-worker says, in front of the customer, "Hey! I think Kat would really love to know about your robots, man!"

The customer turns to me, and says, emphatically, "YOU like ROBOTS!!"

"uhhhh...sure. I guess." And warily, I asked, curiosity getting the better of me, "Why are you buying the stool?"

"For my ROBOTS! They are my partners. In music, as well as in LIFE."

"mmmmmKaaaay...what are their names?"

"Humanoid, and Android. WHAT DO YOU LIKE BEST ABOUT ROBOTS?!"

"Uh...hah, I dunno. I just think their cool I guess..."

At which point, another one of my co-workers (bless her little heart) rescued me by making up some excuse, and dragged me to the back room, where I was forced to stay until the customer had left the store. Little did we know that this customer would come back that same day. With pictures of his robots. To show me... long story not so short, I was again forced to hide in the back room until he left. Watching from the one-way glass window in the back-room door, I saw him begin to get agitated, as he realized I would not be coming back to look at his robot pictures. Luckily, he eventually did leave the store. But to this day, I live in fear...

TO BE CONTINUED, more than likely.